Maech 30, 2008

Tonight I attended the Fifth Sunday Sing at a very small church. My wife and I used to attend this event together. Several months ago I asked the person who hosts the event to sing one of my favorite songs. She agreed. However, she asked that I introduce the song. This is what I shared:

Music is an important part of worship for the Christian. The believer can find both comfort and teaching through this medium. Words of the old familiar hymns are especially useful in this way. When the history of the song is understood and personal application can be made, that song may have even more meaning. That is what this song has done for me.

The history of the song is as follows: “This hymn was writ­ten af­ter two ma­jor trau­mas in Spaf­ford’s life. The first was the great Chi­ca­go Fire of Oc­to­ber 1871, which ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly (he had been a weal­thy bus­i­ness­man). Short­ly af­ter, while cross­ing the At­lan­tic, all four of Spaf­ford’s daugh­ters died in a col­li­sion with an­o­ther ship. Spaf­ford’s wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, “Saved alone.” Sev­er­al weeks lat­er, as Spaf­ford’s own ship passed near the spot where his daugh­ters died, the Ho­ly Spir­it in­spired these words. They speak to the eter­nal hope that all be­liev­ers have, no mat­ter what pain and grief be­fall them on earth.”

Personally the song has special meeting because:

July 1996 for my wife and me was a very dark time. My sons, Brian and Chris and a friend of theirs, Adam, were in a car wreck that seriously injured Brian and took the life of Chris. During those days and months following, as a believer in Jesus, I begin to question my faith. If I was not grounded in Him and did not trust in His promises, I would have drifted away from Him. It drew me closer to Him, at least for a while. Then, March, 2007 my wife filed for divorce, again, another experience challenging my faith. To make things even more difficult, early this week I learned she re-married, taking any hope of our reconciliation away. Can I continue to trust Him even when I don’t understand what He is doing and why he allows these difficult events to occur in my life? Is the Christian life worth it? Is HE worth it? When I consider who I am, a sinner, unworthy to be considered His child, yet, because of His great love and compassion, has reached down, shed His blood for me, saved and gave me new life, how can I do anything other than continue to trust Him despite how I feel. Feelings come and go. But God’s promises never fail, promises such as those found in:

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Joshua 1:5

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,^[a] who^[b] have been called according to his purpose.

So even though I may not understand why God has allowed these events to take place in my life, His precious child, I can say with Horatio Spafford, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

March 29, 2008

What a great day? God made a real impression on me today. I have been praying that God would, like the prodigal son, return my wife to me. Now that things have gone as they have, coming home is impossible. It dawned on me that I need to change my prayer that she would be like the prodigal son, but return to the Lord in repentance for her behaviors this past year, and, perhaps for many months/years. I believe she knows what she has done is wrong due to her secret behaviors. In that the details of that information are unimportant, what is important is that since she knows what she has been doing is wrong, she needs to repent, returning to the Lord. Please pray with me to that end.

Lord, you know that I love you. You also know that I have been praying for my wife's return for a year now, without the desired result. Why, only You know, Lord. However, I believe that nothing is done without Your knowledge and permissive will. And I know that, regardless of what may appear to me to be a disaster, You have permitted and can use to bring both of us closer to Himself if we will only allow You to. please, Lord, help me grow in y faith, draw me closer to Yourself. I love you Lord. Amen.

March 26, 2008

It is 3:20a and I cannot sleep. Just over eight hours ago I learned that Bonnie married Bill. Obviously, I am crushed! My hopes and dreams for my future have been destroyed, my faith shaken. Although I know I am only reacting out of feelings, right now I feel like all my time with the Lord this past year has been wasted, worthless and wonder why He would allow this to happen. I know better than that and am certain that, in the big picture, I will be OK. I know He is faithful, will never leave me nor forsake me and that He is bigger than any problem I might face, even this one. For now, it just seems so big and so insurmountable. She told me her parents congratulated her. I admit that hurt. It sounded to me that they approved of her actions, but, after talking to Brian Tuesday morning, I don’t believe that to be the case. I understand she is their daughter and feel they need to be there for her. I only wish she would have seen God bigger than she apparently did as the One who alone can make all things right and new between us. Lord, please be my comfort, my friend, my guide. In you only can I trust. All others around me may fail me, disappoint me, but you are my rock, my stronghold. Please help me in this most difficult time! I need you now more than ever before.

February 3, 2008

Abram, what a tremendous story! In many ways he could be considered to be the first disciple in that God, in His infinite wisdom, personally instructed and guided this OT patriarch. Two points about his lessons that have meant so much to me so far are: First, God wants us to know Him intimately, in a meaningful and satisfying way and, secondly, He wants us to do good to others. Some might say how cool it must have been to have God teaching him personally. But, think about it. Does He not still do that today through the person of the Holy Spirit? God still wants to have an intimate, personal relationship with each if his children. We get so wrapped up in our day to day activities that we simply don't take the time to develop that relationship. As I have gotten older, I have begun to enjoy my time with my earthly father more and more. He calls me nearly every Sunday morning. I look forward to those calls, even if the call is rather short. Just to share what is going on in our lives is wonderful. Admittedly, I have not always felt that way. I also enjoy my conversations with my own son, eager to see him and spend time talking with him. If I look forward to these earthly relationships as much as I do, I can only imagine how much more my Heavenly Father desires my time with him! Then, when I consider the great length He went to to establish that relationship by sending His own Son to secure my salvation, how can I not be eager and excited about spending my time with Him! Thank you, Father, for Your wonderful gift, and for Your desire to have an intimate, meaningful and satisfying relationship with me. Lord, grant me the opportunities to share that relationship with others and Your wisdom to know how best do that. Amen

February 1, 2008

It is Friday, a day off work. I am disappointed today. A dear friend and I were to be getting together for lunch yesterday but she called and said she needed to reschedule due to her need to work. We reset for today. She called me at 8:05a stating she was sick, really sore throat and an ear ache. Thus, she said we needed to reschedule again, but without a specific date/time. Really bummed me out as I was eager, very eager to see her. I feel like it is somewhat a set back for me in an attempt to restore my relationship with her. Lord, I know You are in charge. I know that I have no control in this, but I also believe I understand Your will, Your perfect will. I also understand You do allow us to make our own decisions, decisions that often do not go along with Your perfect plan and will. I also know You are aware of my desire we be back together. Lord, why? Why is there no evidence that things are getting better between us? I really believe You and I are closer than we have ever been before. For that I am very happy. Lord, please continue to work in me and do what is well pleasing in Your sight. I love You Lord, and desire to continue to grow and deepen my relationship with You. Thank you, Lord, for Who You are. I thank You for Your involvement in my life. Amen.

January 30, 2008

Just finished a book written by Phillip Keller entitled "A shepherd looks at Psalm 23". What a tremendous book. The information about sheep care and sheep behaviors was outstanding! Then, the comparisons of the shepherd and the Great Shepherd were both wonderful and amazing as was the comparison of sheep and the child of Christ. If you have not read this book, I strongly suggest you consider doing so. I borrowed the book and now plan to purchase my own to re-read and begin to highlight. Of the many, many wonderful expressions was the way God cares for me, his tender care, protection, discipline and demonstrations of love. Thank you Lord Jesus that you are my Great Shepherd!"