March 26, 2008

It is 3:20a and I cannot sleep. Just over eight hours ago I learned that Bonnie married Bill. Obviously, I am crushed! My hopes and dreams for my future have been destroyed, my faith shaken. Although I know I am only reacting out of feelings, right now I feel like all my time with the Lord this past year has been wasted, worthless and wonder why He would allow this to happen. I know better than that and am certain that, in the big picture, I will be OK. I know He is faithful, will never leave me nor forsake me and that He is bigger than any problem I might face, even this one. For now, it just seems so big and so insurmountable. She told me her parents congratulated her. I admit that hurt. It sounded to me that they approved of her actions, but, after talking to Brian Tuesday morning, I don’t believe that to be the case. I understand she is their daughter and feel they need to be there for her. I only wish she would have seen God bigger than she apparently did as the One who alone can make all things right and new between us. Lord, please be my comfort, my friend, my guide. In you only can I trust. All others around me may fail me, disappoint me, but you are my rock, my stronghold. Please help me in this most difficult time! I need you now more than ever before.

February 3, 2008

Abram, what a tremendous story! In many ways he could be considered to be the first disciple in that God, in His infinite wisdom, personally instructed and guided this OT patriarch. Two points about his lessons that have meant so much to me so far are: First, God wants us to know Him intimately, in a meaningful and satisfying way and, secondly, He wants us to do good to others. Some might say how cool it must have been to have God teaching him personally. But, think about it. Does He not still do that today through the person of the Holy Spirit? God still wants to have an intimate, personal relationship with each if his children. We get so wrapped up in our day to day activities that we simply don't take the time to develop that relationship. As I have gotten older, I have begun to enjoy my time with my earthly father more and more. He calls me nearly every Sunday morning. I look forward to those calls, even if the call is rather short. Just to share what is going on in our lives is wonderful. Admittedly, I have not always felt that way. I also enjoy my conversations with my own son, eager to see him and spend time talking with him. If I look forward to these earthly relationships as much as I do, I can only imagine how much more my Heavenly Father desires my time with him! Then, when I consider the great length He went to to establish that relationship by sending His own Son to secure my salvation, how can I not be eager and excited about spending my time with Him! Thank you, Father, for Your wonderful gift, and for Your desire to have an intimate, meaningful and satisfying relationship with me. Lord, grant me the opportunities to share that relationship with others and Your wisdom to know how best do that. Amen

February 1, 2008

It is Friday, a day off work. I am disappointed today. A dear friend and I were to be getting together for lunch yesterday but she called and said she needed to reschedule due to her need to work. We reset for today. She called me at 8:05a stating she was sick, really sore throat and an ear ache. Thus, she said we needed to reschedule again, but without a specific date/time. Really bummed me out as I was eager, very eager to see her. I feel like it is somewhat a set back for me in an attempt to restore my relationship with her. Lord, I know You are in charge. I know that I have no control in this, but I also believe I understand Your will, Your perfect will. I also understand You do allow us to make our own decisions, decisions that often do not go along with Your perfect plan and will. I also know You are aware of my desire we be back together. Lord, why? Why is there no evidence that things are getting better between us? I really believe You and I are closer than we have ever been before. For that I am very happy. Lord, please continue to work in me and do what is well pleasing in Your sight. I love You Lord, and desire to continue to grow and deepen my relationship with You. Thank you, Lord, for Who You are. I thank You for Your involvement in my life. Amen.

January 30, 2008

Just finished a book written by Phillip Keller entitled "A shepherd looks at Psalm 23". What a tremendous book. The information about sheep care and sheep behaviors was outstanding! Then, the comparisons of the shepherd and the Great Shepherd were both wonderful and amazing as was the comparison of sheep and the child of Christ. If you have not read this book, I strongly suggest you consider doing so. I borrowed the book and now plan to purchase my own to re-read and begin to highlight. Of the many, many wonderful expressions was the way God cares for me, his tender care, protection, discipline and demonstrations of love. Thank you Lord Jesus that you are my Great Shepherd!"

January 27,2008

I have been rather depressed the last couple of days. Thinking a lot about the personal tragedy that befell me this past year. I KNOW God is in charge and does not allow anything to happen that He does not allow/want. I also KNOW He cares for me and desires His best for me. I have been reading a book entitled A Shepherd's Look at Psalm 23. It is an outstanding book. Yesterday I was reading about the portion "He leads me beside quiet streams". What the author wrote was both accurate and exciting. But it reminded me again of the wrong rode my friend has chosen to travel, causing her to fall deeper and deeper into sin. I am very concerned for this friend. She is going down a very slippery hill and is knowingly and willing being disobedient to the Lord. I know she knows better. I love this person and I ache for her.

Lord, please hear the prayer of my heart. I know You love me and my friend. I know that You care about our lives and are desirous of our listening to You and our being obedient to You. I know my friend is Your child yet has chosen to walk in a way that is not pleasing to You. She will have to one day give an account to You of her behavior. How sad it is that she wants what she wants rather than trust You to do the work in her and in me that You want to do. Lord, please change her heart, change it from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh. Lord, I love my friend and my heart breaks for her as I see how she has chosen to go in the direction she wants rather than the direction You want. She is seeking happiness as she defines happiness. True happiness can ONLY be found in our obedience to You. Please, Lord, work in her, convict her, change her heart, draw her back to Yourself. I plead with You Lord. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

January 24, 2008

It has been a few days since I wrote. Just not taken the time...Bad on me!

This past Tuesday, during our Bible Study dealing with prayer, one friend quoted a portion of Ps. 116:1-2. It really caught my attention. It simply says: "I love the Lord because he hears my prayers and answers them. Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I breathe." WOW! These verses are unbelievable. Think about them. Of the many thoughts one could draw from them, the one that sticks out to me the most is that an Infinite, Omnipotent, Creator is so interested in me, one of His created beings, that he hears, listens and answers my prayers. To picture Him, bending down as a parent does, to listen to His child, simply amazes me. I am struck by His sincere, unblemished and intense interest in me. Praise God for his awesome, wonderful goodness to us. I love you. Lord.